The last blog.

It has been a long time coming, me stopping these blogs that is. Recently I have really wanted to stop writing this blog, but it has only been like, really recently where I have thought that I am going to stop soon, like, really, really soon. There were a few things that I wanted to do, one of them was that I wanted to end these blogs on a high, which I think I am, I mean fucking look at all these comments and shit, that’s fucking funny as. Another thing I wanted to do was end the blogs on a round number, and this is the one hundred and eightieth blog, so it like half a circle if you were measuring my blogs in degrees, so I am going to say that one hundred and eighty is up there as one of the roundest numbers there is.

First things first, well second seeing as though I have already written something. I have deleted all of the comments that have been abusing fucking like, Claire and shit, so you can all fuck off about that. I actually went through and did my three hundred and something fucking clicks and now they are all gone, so fuck off with me being a ‘bad person’ because that took me like, eight minutes. Eight minutes that I will never get back, I could have played like a game of COD, but instead I clicked on a bin, and then a yes, and then a confirmation button, over and over again… fuck.

There are a few reasons for me actually stopping the writing of these blogs, the first being a simple one; I can’t be fucked. It is less of me not being fucked to write them, I mean I have proven to myself that I can write them every day, but it is more that I can’t be fucked missing out on things when I could be doing them. Sometimes I will find myself locked away in my mate’s computer room typing away when they are all outside playing backyard cricket or in the living room playing COD. No one comes in to visit me because it’s not like I talk when I write these, so really I just have to isolate myself every single day where I could be having good times.

The second reason would be that writing these blogs has actually nearly killed me one time, and yes I am being serious. I didn’t put this in my blog at the time but once it was like, eleven thirty at night and I hadn’t done a blog yet, this was back when I was getting lazy with them and they would be going up with a few minutes of the day to go. Anyway, so I was sitting in my room writing and I just, really needed to shit, but I knew that if I went to shit I would waste valuable writing time. I guess that I didn’t know how badly I actually needed to shit, I mean I didn’t like, shit myself but by the time I actually finished writing, put it up, did a little picture on paint and then made my way to the area where I shit, as in my toilet, the shit like exploded out of my ass in one of those painful shits.

You are probably curious of how I think that nearly killed me, well think about it this way; what if I got bow cancer? Also, what if I got some other anal disease, if there are any that is, I mean normally now is when I would do a Google search on anal diseases and find out some and rack them off sounding like some sort of like, bum doctor but really, I’m just not that keen to look that up.

Of course though, this blog isn’t just about me, but it is about my amazing friends and my amazing enemies that I write about. You have probably noticed, like if you have been on this blog before that is, or if this is your first time but you have really had an in depth look at what’s on it but anyway, you have probably noticed the tags on the right of this, with all these names of just great people… great people, and people that are like, fucking dicks or my enemies that I have written about. Anyway, whoever they are, they have earned a mention in my blog somehow. I thought that I should write a little thingy about the six people who have been tagged in more than twenty blogs, and therefore the most blogs, because clearly if they have been tagged the most then I either love them the most, or they have been there the most, or at least, well they have been tagged the most.

Marie-Elaina Bakas (Twenty One Tags)

Marie-Elaina Bakas, or Meb as anyone who knows her calls her has been my best friend for as long as I can remember, well that would be if I could only remember up until like, September. She had her first tag back in August in ‘The Beret’. I had just started talking to her on Facebook chat, like we had talked before but you know, we had just started talking often and things were looking good in the friendship track. Before I knew it, well I knew it but you know, just come on. Seriously though, I love Meb, she is actually one of the best people I have ever met in my life, and probably the best friend anyone could ever have.

Jackson Sanders (Thirty Seven Tags)

How Jack attained thirty seven tags I’ll never know. He always seems to be somewhere else, I feel like I never see him but when I think about it, I see him like every day. He is definitely a mysterious one though, if not the most mysterious person ever. There was this night that we all thought he was dead actually, like we were all sitting around wandering where Jack was, he wasn’t picking up his phone, he wasn’t on Facebook, he wasn’t at his own house and when we got there his mum asked us if we knew where he had gone, we just thought he was dead. That is until he just, rocked up and said ‘hey’.

Tom Wilkin (Forty Two Tags)

When I first started writing this blog, Tom just didn’t get tagged in it for some reason. It seemed that whatever I wrote about, or whenever I was writing them, Tom just wasn’t there for some reason, but he would always come after and just be so sad that he wasn’t in one. It then came the day where I was sitting at Brett’s, on his computer, thinking of something, anything to write about. Tom comes in with McDonalds and I just said ‘hey Tom, want me to write your life story?’ and yeah, that’s what we did. I posted his memoirs in four separate parts, and after that, he just seemed to get tagged much more often than the original zero that he started out on.

Brett Aitken (Fifty Five Tags)

If you had come to me like a year ago and told me that I would be as good friends with Brett as I am now, I would have been like ‘okay, how do you actually know this?’ and I would probably wander like, if that person who told me was from the future or something, but I still wouldn’t really believe it straight away, you know? Brett and I met in year eight, we were in the same home group and we got along just fine. We never saw each other out of school but during school, we had great times. I now see Brett like every day, and he is a great friend, one of the best. In fact I am writing this sitting in his computer room in a towel at four thirty in the morning… not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Chris Tankosic (Sixty Three Tags)

I remember the first time I met Chris Tankosic like it was yesterday. It really couldn’t have been any further away from yesterday though, I mean it was like in kindy. We weren’t friends, if anything I was jealous of him. He had brought his Gameboy to kindy and he was playing this rad Toy Story game, like, probably the best thing I have ever seen. At this stage of my life I didn’t have a Gameboy, all I had was this Tetris game that I got from like, a show bag or some shit, but really that didn’t compare at all to this. Of course I didn’t get a turn, but watching him play as Woody just made me think that we should be friends so maybe, one day, I could play that game. We ended up going to the same primary school; Unley Primary School. We still weren’t friends though, if anything we were enemies. We were in completely different groups of friends, his group played soccer, and our group played footy. Sometimes we would challenge their group to play against us in footy or soccer, we would always win. Now Chris and I are like, somewhat friends, I mean I wouldn’t say good friends but you know, we like, see each other sometimes and that so yeah, sixty three tags… good effort.

Andrew Heinicke (Seventy One Tags)

When I first met Andrew back in year eight, I was sure of two things, one; that he was a dick, and two; that he had to be gay. Now we have finished school and not a lot has changed. He is probably more of a dick now than he was in year eight and my thoughts of him being gay are now somewhat confirmed, but dicks and dicks aside, I love Andrew. I remember a time before Andrew and I were good friends, back in early year eleven drama, where we were paired up do something. We didn’t do it, instead I spent the entire lesson running away from him as he chased me with this metallic sharp thing that he found in the drama room. I left the room bruised and cut, and it was then when I realised that I did not want to be friends with Andrew Heinicke. Times changed after that, and for some reason, the thought came over my head that I do want to be friends with him. I don’t know what I was thinking, even now I look back and wander why, but somehow, we are now like, actually friends.

I remember back when I used to hear people say ‘oh that movie changed my life’ I would just think, like, how? It’s a movie, I mean movies are great, not all of them but like, overall, movies are just like, a great thing, you know? Life changing though, I’m not too sure. I then saw Marley and Me, probably the best movie ever made, and pretty much, watching Owen Wilson being a columnist in that movie just made me think to myself that not only could I do that, but I wanted to. Whether it was just a fad, or a thought or something that I wouldn’t follow through with I didn’t know, but what I did know was that Hungry Jacks was great.

Some time during the next school week, we made our way to Hungry Jacks in one of our frees to eat food. My good friend Jesse Farrand-Harbutt and I got talking, and he was telling me that I should start a blog to see if I could do it, and I said that I would. Normally what I say and what I do are two completely different things, but in this case it seemed to be pretty much the same thing. When I got home I started writing my first blog, it was called ‘The Dream’ and it was about how I wanted to be a columnist when I grow older and how this is like my first step to see if I could do it. I thought that I should write a blog every single day, I mean in Marley and Me he did that, and if I wanted to be Owen Wilson then I should do the same.

I ended up missing the second day, which was a poor effort I must say, but from then on I just, didn’t miss a day, and I wrote a blog every single day. The only other time I missed was when I went away for Schoolies, but that was just like, you know, it’s not like I was going to be writing blogs when I was paro as up at Goolwa. Besides those two non blog writing times, I ended up writing one hundred and seventy nine blogs, this being the one hundred and eightieth. I have proven that I can do it, and that is all I really wanted to do. Turns out that not only did I do that, but I also started up some funny as war between some anonymous people and some other anonymous people. I don’t know what I am going to do now though, I mean now that this is all done I should probably just go sleep, I mean it is five forty in the morning and I have been writing this for a few good hours.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my blogs, or just this one if it’s the first one you have ever read; thanks for reading. I love you, take care. Xx