The Blah Blah Blah.

So I remember just before schoolies, I discovered this new song that was just appalling called Tik Tok by Ke$ha, and yes, that is how you spell it, not Tick Tock like a normal person would spell it but Tik Tok, and her name isn’t Keisha like a normal girl with that name, but instead she has a dollar sign instead of the S and instead of having the I, there is nothing. It was one of those songs, and I guess it still is, that is just so bad that everyone loves it. I don’t think that there is actually anyone who can realistically be like ‘oh, Tik Tok? That is a fucking great song’ because it is just, there is just so much wrong with it. I like it, like, as a joke kind of, like I think it’s so bad that it’s funny, and it’s just fun and yeah, that’s my reason for having it my iTunes.

I don’t know when and I am too lazy to look it up, but recently she released her new song. Now if you have heard the first song, which I am sure that you have, you would know that she sounds like a slut somehow, like she does this thing when she sings that makes her sound like a feral ass disgusting slut. She doesn’t sing like a normal singer, she sings more like she has something in her mouth that I don’t think would be appropriate if I said here (a dick). Now I don’t know if you have heard her new song, which again, you probably have, but she somehow makes herself sound more like a slut, more disgusting and like the dick she has in her mouth is either bigger or it is just two dicks.

So right now I am sitting here on Tom’s couch as he plays COD. I am kind of watching him, but my main focus here is listening to this song and really, well I feel kind of bad because chances are I am putting him off as I listen to this over and over again, like he said before that he was fucking angry at me because I think this was making him lag or it was just putting him off or something. The song just finished and I have, you know, I’m not playing it again, for Tom’s sake, and also mine because the more I listen to it, the more into it I get. It has that same effect that Tik Tok had where you know how unbelievably bad it is, but it’s just great to listen to for some reason.

Although where Tik Tok did well, as in, hold on let me rephrase that I was completely wrong. Although where Tik Tok became bearable at parties and stuff, and like it is kind of danceable, this song just, really isn’t. I would really like to see a dance floor at a party or something try and ‘go off’ to this song, because just then I was trying to dance to it, just by myself, just like you know, trying to work out how I would if it came on at a party and it was the most awkward thing ever. I was trying to and it was just, an awkward sounding song and it is just un-danceable. I’ll let you make up your own mind with it now, but yeah. The song’s called Blah Blah Blah by Ke$ha, and it is featuring those 3OH!3 guys that have that one good song, and then that other one with Katy Perry.

Just so you know, this isn't the actual video clip for the song, but I couldn't find the actual one on Youtube, I don't even know if there is one but yeah, couldn't find it. This was the most entertaining fake one I could find and the girl in this video, she's great.

The planned night of nothing.

Well I am happy to say that the ringing in my ears from Big Day Out has completely gone now. My worries of being kind of deaf for the rest of my life have gone away and I can now hear everything without having to try and ignore the loud ringing in my ears that was for some reason louder than any other sound that happened in my day to day life in-between now and then. I now have no excuse for not getting off this ass that I am sitting on, as in my ass, and getting up and looking for a job, or get my L’s or just do something to assist in you know, my life.

Mum had always been saying that I have ‘until Big Day Out’ and after that I need to start looking for a job. Big Day Out has happened and the ringing that Calvin gave me is now gone. I am sitting on the computer and instead of going on like, the Big W website or something and looking for a job, I am just writing about looking for a job... kind of fucked I think. You know what is more fucked? My plan for today, I’ll tell you what it is. Instead of going around handing in my application or resume into everywhere in the world that is hiring, I am going to go to Cunningham’s with Brett, Andrew and Chris and we are going to buy cheap plastic toy guns so we can run around the street and play with them tonight; like a real life Call of Duty.

There are some pluses and some minuses in the plan though, the first plus being that running around playing outside is not only good exercise, but we are also getting fresh air compared to playing Call of Duty inside on a TV sitting down. A negative that Chris just pointed out to me would have to be that running around with guns, fake or not in the streets is illegal. I decided to Google ‘running around with toy guns at night’ just to see what would come up, and what would come up, like you know, I was hoping that some laws would come up or charges or whatever. No, the first thing that comes up is ‘Cops See 12-year-old Kid Running w/ Toy Gun and Shoot Him Dead: No Charges!’ now this scares me for obvious reasons. See, as that Facebook group that I saw yesterday said, we are at the age where we are old enough to know when something is a bad idea, but we are young enough not to care. You can probably assume that what I am going to say next will be something along the lines of ‘I know that this is a possibility but it’s not like I am going to not do it,’ and if you thought that, then yeah you were right. I mean I know that it is a possibility of this happening, but it doesn’t really faze me or anything.

If a cop pulled over and asked us what we were doing though, I think that we would just say the truth, which would be that we were just running around with toy guns. I don’t think that this would warrant them shooting us dead like that twelve year old kid in thingy, but I don’t think it would warrant anything. Would a cop even do anything for something like this? You would have to get an actual dick of a cop to fine you for doing something like this I think, but really if we did that would be the shittiest thing ever. Oh actually, it would be shitter I think if they shot us dead, but a fine would be up there. Actually, it would be even shitter if we got sent to prison somehow and then we got raped, yeah that would be the worst thing that could come out of this. Let’s just hope that doesn’t happen though. Let’s just say that if there isn’t a blog tomorrow, I might be like you know, in prison getting raped by a man named Theodore Bagwell; that would be shit as.

The Otto.

Born on the thirty first of January in nineteen ninety three was Otto Hanzbuurer; or at least that is what you be led to believe from his Facebook page. There is a small truth behind Otto that only a few people know, and that truth is quite simple to understand, for Otto is not a real person at all. How do I know this? Simple; I am Otto Hanzbuurer. The idea of creating him came from a large amount of boredom. I was sitting on Facebook thinking that nothing was happening, and I wasn’t just thinking it, but it was happening, and by it I mean nothing. I thought that maybe there are some other people on my friends list with nothing to do, just sitting there on a lazy Sunday afternoon bored out of their mind. I thought to myself that I should do something, something that would entertain not only me but also the entirety of Facebook, or at least the ones who were involved.

In creating Otto, there was much debate on what the name should be. By that I mean I was on the computer and Andrew was sitting beside me playing Call of Duty and we were exchanging funny names for him to have. It wasn’t long before the name Otto Hanzbuurer came out of one of our asses, and it was straight after that when the legend was born. I started off adding everyone in the friend suggestion box, but it was getting tiring having to type in that confirmation code every time I wanted to add someone because I guess even Facebook was having its doubts over the reality of Otto. Facebook said that all I needed to do was give them my phone number so that they could send me a confirmation code and then I can do whatever without being hassled because they would believe that I am a real person.

I went into my brother’s room and took his phone, gave Facebook his number and waited for the confirmation code. The reason behind this was simple; I really didn’t want to put my number in, I mean what would happen if something bad came out of this? I didn’t want to get into any trouble, so I thought that I should play it safe and put my brother in the danger, not me. Once the account was verified, adding people was much easier and before I knew it, Otto had like a hundred friends. At the start, I think that the people talking to him actually believed his story, the story being that he is a German exchange student from Koln who received a new laptop and internet for his birthday and he is going to start at Unley High School on Monday. Otto’s story maintained for around half an hour before I thought that it would be funnier if instead of being a believable character, he was a fucked up weirdo, and that is when Otto decided to link a porn video to his Facebook page.

From the second people first started to see the link on his wall, Otto was not only losing respect, but also the belief of his existence. No one in the right mind would put up a link to porn on Facebook, so the few people that believed his existence started to diminish in numbers, and before he knew it, he was nonexistent in the eyes of the public. It was then when Otto was receiving nothing but abuse, the notifications were full of wall posts asking who Otto was, either that or blatant abuse. Now I don’t know how, and I don’t know the reason, but Otto’s life took a turn for popularity at one stage throughout the day when everyone started to love Otto, and now I can comfortable say that if he was real, which he kind of isn’t, nah he actually isn’t at all but anyway, he would be so popular it is unreal. People love the Otto.

We still wanted Otto to come off as a kind of creep, as if he wasn’t seen as one already. Christine James just accepted the friend request she received from Mr. Hanzbuurer, so we decided to go onto her profile and fuck with her just a little bit. We went down her wall and liked every single thing that you can like. New friendships, statuses, groups and pages joined, events attending wall posts, everything that you can like. Within five minutes, Christine had Otto removed from her friends list, and the job was complete. Even though a small amount of the hatred towards Otto returned, he was mainly loved by the Facebook community. He was receiving friend requests from people who wanted to be in with the Otto crowd, he was the most popular person the internet has ever seen, and his name was Otto.

Not everyone loved him though, as there was always that one person who wanted him down, one person that wished Otto never came to Facebook, and he wanted to make sure he left as soon as possible; Michael Buckett. Buckett was continuously asking questions about Otto, to Otto, trying to find a gap in his story, something that he couldn’t answer, but luckily for Otto, there were no gaps in his story and every question that was thrown towards him was answered quickly and correctly. As far as anyone could tell, Otto was a real person, ready to start school ‘on the morro’.

Like most annoying people who use Facebook, Otto soon discovered how fun it is to join groups and become fans of things, but mainly the becoming a fan of things. The single click to show people what kind of a person Otto is made him think that it was easier than typing out his story to people, and much like all the users of Facebook, he thought he was the only one who did these things, he thought he was unique, but then it turned out there were hundreds of people, if not thousands in these groups. Otto wanted to get across the fact that he was really Otto to people, I mean some people still didn’t believe him. Otto continued to join every single group that he could find that had Otto in its name or description... every single one.

It wasn’t long after that when Otto remembered his love for sexy women, pornography and sex. This is when he decided to join every group with the word sexy in it, sexy men, sexy women, I am sexy... these were just some of the groups that Otto joined, passionate groups and fan pages that he felt he needed to be a part of so that the Facebook community could know what kind of a person he really was, for you see Otto isn’t really a lovable person, he is a freak, a creep and an absolute dick.

Not too long after the group and fan stage, or fad had passed by Otto, he realised that instead of watching porn and looking at pictures of sexy women, he could actually go out and find a girlfriend for himself, someone that he could love. Of course Otto wasn’t completely sure how to do this, so he ended up picking the girl who seemed the most interested in him and sent her a relationship request on Facebook, and that girl was Tori Hughes. In what was one of the biggest surprises of Otto’s life, Tori accepted the relationship request from Otto and they were, then and there, going out. It was then and there when Tori’s status actually went off more than you could ever imagine, and what was ten comments turned to forty turned to ninety seven comments in the end. Her status was just stating the new relationship, but Otto was such big news that it boomed ninety seven comments, and within those comments were more than just love for Otto, but there was hate.

What was harmless high school love turned wrong when Amelia Portellos said that she loved Otto more than anyone and she was in utter shock when Otto chose Tori over her. It wasn’t long before Otto needed to go to sleep, he did have a big day coming up; his first day at a new school. Otto logged off for the rest of the day and it was then and there when the first chapter of the Otto saga had been completed, and perhaps not only the first chapter, but also the last.

***

I was awoken at half past twelve in the afternoon by Brett calling me asking what I was doing. I said that I was sleeping which I was and then he said that he would come over soon to have good times. I turned on my computer and logged into my Facebook. I clicked on the friends list search bar and typed in Ot, only to see Gravity and Other Myths presents 'Freefall' come up; Brie's circus thing. I then type in the remaining two letters, another t followed by the final o to see not a single thing come up. I logged out of my Facebook and try to log into Otto's only to see a message come up that read: 'Your account has been disabled. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.' I logged back into mine and looked through Facebook. Not only was Otto's account deleted but every trace of him was also removed, everything that he had commented, everything that he had liked, his photo's; everything.

It was weird. Otto had gotten to the stage where Facebook was thanking him for being such a good user, people loved him, people couldn't wait to meet him at school today, but now, all traces of him were deleted. Otto was a man too good for this world, perhaps that is the reason he was removed from Facebook, because the rest of the online community that makes up Facebook couldn't compete with him. Whatever the reason, he is now gone, and all that is left is the memories, and of course the wishful thinking that he will one day return.

The drunken messages.

I don’t remember a whole lot. I remember trying to steal drinks with Christie, I remember dancing for a few songs, mainly when Wolfgang Gartner came on and Jack and I actually went ballistic. I remember Delwyn’s strip tease and I remember having to look after Tallulah for like, an hour or so. The theme of the party was to dress up as whatever it is that you want to be when you grow up, so I thought that I should go as a journalist type guy and I thought, how do I do that? After Dad’s amazing idea of getting one of those journo hats and putting the little press card thing in it like back in the forties and all that, I think it worked well. I also brought a pad and pencil so I could report on the night and that got me thinking that surely if I did that I would remember the night, yeah? Well that really didn’t work... every single page is full of illiterate scribble that was my attempt of drunken reports through the night, or at least I can only assume that. Amongst the pages though are messages from the people or the public as a journalist such as myself should call them. I thought that seeing as though I have written everything I remember down, I should just put down all the messages from people that were readable, so here they are, the rest of the night catalogued via drunken messages; enjoy.

HEADLINE:

Andrew

Isn't

Stoned!!

Jack Sanders

< 3s

Christie Brook

so much he is

the best, I

LOVE HIM!!

But I love cosma

too. Im drunk

and this writing

feels funny.

Christie Brook

< 3's Nick Cosma, Jack

Sanders, Tom Wilkin, Chris

Tankosic, Brett Aitken, Andrew

Heinicke!

We're defs getting drunk

before I go away!

wednesday!

Jack Sanders, "what a

weird tip to serve, Caviar,

You'd think it would be

Tziaki or Cheese &

Chives."

"Thats Beautiful!"

I like

Free hugs!

and I kissed

Jack for ages.

Christie is a

better ninja than

Kenny!

HEADLINE:

MINI Cheats

on

HEINICKE!

ASH HOOKS UP

WITH MINI

+MINI AND JACK HAD

A NIGHT OF PLEASURE

INCLUDING 20 HEADJOBS

To Cosma

This is a dick sum1

else drew

but yeah

< 3 Nikki

P.S Calvin Harris

AMAZING

hey second BFFL.

have a lovely night,

xx

DANCE

FLOOR

IS

RATED

A

SUCCESS!

It is true

Baby Spice took off

her shoes and

Love Cosma he

is pretty cool maybe

as cool as calvin harris

LOVE

Baby Spice

(Lauren)

xxx

Tbag

did birdman,

Tom brown's

GF bleeding!

Haha!

love from

Christie

MINI

BREAKS

ANDREW'S

HEART!

"Fuck You" Quotes

Andrew

< / 3

Hey T!

I have something

really important/secret

to tell you!

OMG TellMe! NOW!

I sexed Tom Wilkin

LAST NIGHT ;)

Dont tell anyone

OMG I SO WON'T!!

But guess what?

SIM? YOU WISH!

NO!!! oh you don't

realise

The love of my life.

Whether it is just the worst ringing that has ever rung my ears or it is actually a blown eardrum I am unsure of, but what I am sure of is that even if this damage was permanent, it was fucking worth it; Big Day Out was the best thing ever. When Brett and I had to leave Lily Allen to go to the boiler room, we almost had tears forming in our eyes. I think Brett loves Lily more than I do but after hearing her third song we knew that we needed to go to the boiler room and try and get to the front. In my day plan I didn’t comprehend that Lily would actually have been that good, dancing around on stage to Smile, it was actually one of the hardest things to walk away from. Once we got to the boiler room, there was a massive crowd watching DJ Sam La More, who was actually amazing, probably the best DJ in the world if you want to take my word on it. Getting to the front was easy because everyone was dancing, not watching, and once we got to the front of the stage I knew that I wouldn’t budge for the entirety of being in the boiler room.

I was making jokes about how I am going to be at the actual front in the boiler room, I was saying how I am going to be holding onto the railings and be within a metre of the stage, but I didn’t think it would actually happen. Brett and I had probably the best spots in the world, and as we watched this amazing DJ, I didn’t even think to dance or anything, it was if I was saving myself for something better. One of the stage workers walked over to the DJ and patted his watch three times and then stuck his hand out with all five fingers up. My mind started to work and the way I saw it, the tapping on the watch symbolised time, and the five represented the time that was left, so I think that he was trying to tell him that he has five minutes left before he has to get off and make way for the next act.

What was approximately five minutes passed since the gesture and it seemed as though the DJ was wrapping up, the song seemed to be entering the fake ending before he yelled out ‘one more time’ and everyone went nuts. Whether the people were going nuts over him or whether they were actually there for him at all I don’t know. Once DJ Sam La More finished, he made his way off stage, and from where Brett and I were standing, we could kind of see through this small gap, and through that small gap we could see what was probably the best thing I have ever seen, ever; Calvin Harris. He downed a beverage that I don’t know, like it could have been something that I know but I couldn’t make it out, he slammed it down and ran onto the stage after his band. The crowd went absolutely nuts, I mean I was more nuts but they were going fairly nuts. He jumped to this spot on stage with this keyboard slash DJ kit and just fucking went nuts, it was probably the best thing I have ever seen ever.

You could say that I was maybe, like, maybe just a little too close to these giant three subwoofers but yeah, I didn’t really seem to notice at all when it was happening. To say that Calvin Harris live was the best thing that has ever happened ever would be an understatement, he was actually unbelievable. I mean, pretty much everything was good, Kasabian were great, Passion Pit were amazing, Dizzee was, well I thought he was incredible but no one else seemed to think so, but Calvin Harris was actually the greatest thing I have ever seen slash heard. As a crowd, we went wild, probably the best crowd in the world, just going off because of the amazingness that oozed from every single thing that Calvin did.

You’d think that the best thing about Calvin Harris was Calvin Harris, and in thinking that you would be right, but if you thought that the second best thing about Calvin Harris was also Calvin Harris, you would be wrong. You see there was this fucking hot ass girl that was next to me, as in next to me on the right was Brett, but next to me on the left was this hot ass girl who was just fucking great. There were these guys walking around handing out water to people near the front because it was just so hot in there, but every time they did this girl would always get water, and she would always offer me a sip, which I, for some reason, said something like ‘no that’s okay’ but she wouldn’t have heard me but I’m sure my body actions and facial expressions showed her that I wasn’t interested in her water. It got to the third time she asked me if I wanted any water and I thought, I’m not really that thirsty but I should probably just drink some of her water, I mean she wasn’t offering it to anyone else, just me, so maybe that was a sign that she was in love with me.

There were times where we were singing the lyrics to Calvin’s music, looking into each other’s eyes singing ‘I’ve got love for you, if you were born in the eighties, the eighties.’ Then there were the times when she just looked at me smiling, then looking away when I noticed her looking at me and I looked at her and you know, that little awkward thingy. I don’t know why I didn’t do anything, but I realised at this point that she was the one for me; the love of my life. She had it all, she liked Calvin Harris... that is all that I know about her, that is actually like it... I didn’t know what to do though, and I wasn’t drinking or anything so I just felt kind of weird if I tried to get with her or something. She then looked like she was dying or something, like she was dehydrating, I mean that probably wasn’t it, she had like eight cups of water but, wait maybe she just really needed to go to the toilet... yeah that must have been it... anyway whatever it was, she ended up just jumping over the railing and being escorted away by the security guard. It was the last I ever saw of her, the last I ever saw of the love of my life, the girl with no name, the girl who loves Calvin Harris.

Calvin Harris a few songs after the love of my life left, finishing with the incredible ‘I’m Not Alone’ which actually went off unlike anything I have ever seen before. Leaving the boiler room into the hot sun was actually like walking outside of a heated room into the snow, the boiler room, although not even a room, like it was just a big tent, was still the hottest and sweatiest thing in the world. I was drenched in my and everyone else’s sweat, but it couldn’t have been a better crowd to be a part of. Whenever Calvin Harris had everyone’s hands in the air, the room smelt of BO, but it wasn’t disgusting, it was fucking amazing, because the smell was blown away by the subwoofers in, no I can’t explain the awesome of Calvin Harris. The only other thing I realised when walking out was that I couldn’t hear anything at all, Brett was saying things but everything that he said went in one ear and out the other, wait not even... it just hit my ear and bounced off. I could hear that he was talking, but whatever it was that he was saying will forever be a mystery, much like it is right now. All I can hear is the ringing in my ear, oh and Neon Rockets by Calvin Harris, that’s playing right now aswell.

The Big Day Out.

I have never found it this hard to string a few words together making the first sentence for one of these, but then again I have never been this excited in my entire life. Unless you have been living under some kind of media blocking rock which you have because in your universe it exists for some reason, or you live in another state and not under a rock, you would know that Big Day Out Adelaide is today; and fuck me am I excited as all fuck! It’s almost like every single one of my favourite bands and artists are playing at the same place on the same day and I have my hands on one ticket; the necessary amount to get one person in, and I am one person. My plan has advanced from what it was and I now have a full day of awesomeness to attend to starting at eleven in the morning until eleven at night, and seeing as though now is nine in the morning, it’s just getting closer and closer.

My neighbours must hate me, I mean it is four past nine in the morning and right now, Lily Allen is being played on full blast on my relatively loud iPod dock, well it isn’t loud enough to do for a party but as far as nine in the morning goes, it goes just that little bit better than alright. Never in my life have I gotten up at, well just before eight in the morning, waiting for people to come to mine so I wouldn’t feel like an alcoholic when I start drinking, but if two thousand and nine taught me anything, it was that pre drinks are an essential part of any outing, well almost any outing. It’s not like I really plan to get ‘paro as’, I mean I intend on enjoying but also remembering today, but I think that being a little bit tipsy would assist in my enjoyment, maybe?

Actually, I really didn’t know what I was going to do today. I said originally that I was going to go sober, but then again I first thought that Big Day Out was a dry zone. Dry zone or not, I am seventeen so I wouldn’t be able to drink there without bearing the risk of getting kicked out and yeah, that would be so shit. I would probably have to actually kill myself if I got kicked out, I mean first act through to the last one, everything that I have planned to see is something that I couldn’t bear to miss. Regardless of whether I was intending on drinking or not, people are arriving here with their booze, ready to drink, and fuck being left out. I’m going to go and drink, leaving this blog half as short as the rest, but I’ll be back tomorrow just fucking, so happy, surely with stories to tell... surely.

The Fear.

I went into the bathroom to; you know, shit, at like eleven thirty at night last night. For some reason all of the toilet seats were down, so I lifted up the first one and sit down on the one that you are meant to sit on. I sit down without checking the inside of the toilet, I mean I am a much more grown up person than I was ten years ago when every time I sat on the toilet I had to check for toilet monsters first. There is of course that childhood fear that started, yeah probably again, like ten years ago, and this is one of those fears that come and go, like it is never on the top of my mind, but whenever I see them I just remember the thing that happened so long ago that will forever keep me scared of them... and that is when I saw an earwig crawl from under my bathroom sink and make its way under the bathroom bin.

I remember a time long ago when I was playing at lunch time in campus two at Unley Primary School. I wouldn’t have been any older than seven years old, and the thing to do wasn’t Poke’Mon, no not yet, for the season was bug catching season, and all we wanted to do was catch caterpillars in the school garden and bring them back into the classroom and put them in the caterpillar tank which we actually had for some reason. I had an ice cream container than I was putting all my caterpillars in; I probably had like, thirty caterpillars in the single container so I was actually dominating beyond belief. I got further into the schools garden and then I found this bug crawling around that I had never seen before. It looked like a long ant, but on the end of the long ants tail was like this pincer thing. I picked it up from its pincer and it didn’t bite me or anything, but I didn’t want to put it in with the caterpillars because it might kill them or something, who knows? I ended up putting the earwig in my left shirt pocket for safe keeping so at the end of lunch I could go into class and ask what kind of bug it was.

Before I could take a few steps in my desired direction, I felt a throbbing pain in my left nipple that I have never felt before. It hurt like an absolute motherfucker but being the retarded seven year old that I was, I didn’t think it was the earwig that I stupidly put in my left breast pocket, or shirt pocket or whatever it is called. I kept walking before I felt it again, but this time I felt the actual grip it had on my nipple, my poor seven year old hard nipple. I pulled it out of my pocket and threw it away, it bit my finger this time before it let go and went into the garden. I looked down my shirt to see that my left nipple was much, much redder than my right nipple. Not only that, but my nipple was actually bleeding a little bit.

For around a week after that, my nipple was swollen and in immense pain, now if that isn’t enough trauma to warrant a life time fear of earwigs then I don’t know what is. It is that kind of thing that I will never forget, a memory that will be forever embedded into my memory, much like when I sliced my leg open in reception, but that is a story for another blog. Anyway, back to me shitting with the earwig just in front of me, hiding behind the bin. So I did my shit, did my wipe and got up to wash my hands. I looked to the left to see the earwig hiding under the bin, so I lift up the bin and move it over a metre away from where it previously was, leaving the earwig with no cover; no place to hide. It scurries over to the corner of the room, less hiding and more playing it safe. It knows that it couldn’t be attacked from behind this way so the only place it could get attacked from was in front of it, and that is where I was; it was ready for me.

As I look at the earwig in the corner, I think to myself that if I killed it, I would be no better than that earwig that clamped my nipple all those years ago, I thought to myself that I should just let the earwig go, let it be. Then I thought to myself ‘fuck that’ and I rammed the bin into the corner of the room. Unfortunately for me, the bin had rounded edges, but the bathroom didn’t, and the bin did nothing but probably make the earwig shit itself, but it didn’t smush it like I had intended. This is when I actually thought that, I should just let it go. Then I went back into my room, went back on Facebook and realised that I had gotten over my fear of earwigs, I am better than them. At least I thought that until I went on Google Images to find a picture of an earwig for this blog and then I thought that, they are fucking scary as... I really should have killed that fucking thing, god knows where it is now... fuck.