The funniest thing ever.

Not that long ago I started a bet with my mate Chris (the dick) that I could go thirty days without having a wank. I lasted about ten days before I sent him a text that read 'Im gonna wank, fuck it...' soon after the text was sent, I received a message that read, 'Hahagaigaigaigaigaigaigabiaiaiaiaia go ahead then u lose'. For ten days I was put through the agonizing torture of not being able to wank, I would sit there and think to myself, 'man, I could be wanking right now...' but i didn't...those ten days were hard, but not as hard as the life of a guy I know.

I don't want to say his name, because that would just be mean, so let's just call him...oh I don't know...Michael...anyway, so this Michael guy has lived nearly eighteen years and he has never masturbated. Well, I lie, he has masturbated but he claims that he has never finished. I don't know why he told us this, but all I can say is that when he said it, it was one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I mean, I am known to over hype things, but this had to be one of the funniest things ever, I don't think I have ever talked to the guy before this, maybe once or twice but oh my god...I was in tears. And it isn't like he just told one or two people, he was talking about this to a group of at least fifteen people, so it was bound to get out...and it has...

I have been told that I should stop talking about it here because Chris reckons its illegal to post this or something...what a dick...anyway, on a less crying of laughter note, we finished filming the second episode of The Battle of Alahzaar today, and it is so much better than the first one. Also, the boxing match has been confirmed for this Saturday night, and I couldn't be any more confident that I am going to win. I am not being smug or anything, but something tells me that he is all talk and when fight night comes I will kick the shit out of him, but it will be boxing so I probably won't kick him at all...

Even if I lose though, it's okay because mum just gave me this coupon for a free quarter chicken meal at Nando's whenever something of equal or greater value is purchased, things sure are looking good right about now.