In case you didn’t notice by the number two in the title of this post, this is the continuation from yesterdays because so much worth putting into a blog stuff happened and I couldn’t fit it all into one. Well I could have but it would have been like double the length of the nutshell one that I felt was way too long. So now I am going to pick up from where I left off which was after we left Brett’s and headed off to Nathans. We got there and I was fucking drunk as, I had already wasted all my credit texting people again and I had decided that Caitlin is my official drunk texting buddy, she seemed keen on the idea, either that or she wasn’t keen and I was so drunk that I thought she seemed keen, either way I don’t really know, I was drunk.
Everything that happened was amazingly funny, and I mean fucking funny. I hadn’t seen Jack all day so I just assumed that he was at home or with Anna-Lisa or something. Tom Wilkin was in Nathan’s bed texting someone and Shez and I walked in. He wouldn’t tell me who it was so I got his phone off him and saw that his most recent call was Sav (Jack’s sister) I think, I don’t really know how to use an iPhone so yeah, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. He then told us that he and Sav had a thing and we could never tell Jack or anyone and that we were the only two people that knew now. I didn’t know whether to ask him what happened or just not believe him because it sounded kind of fishy, but yeah, I guess I had to believe him. Then Jack sent Tom a message saying ‘Fuck You’, and Tom went nuts at us because he thought that we had already told Jack somehow, I don’t know how we would have but he was just all antsy.
Andrew was then outside and I didn’t want to let him in so we just started singing that shit Bodies song by Robbie Williams and pretended we couldn’t hear him, we turned the lights off and I hid next to the bed on the floor while Shez and Tom hid under the covers. Then I felt someone breathing on me from under the bed and whispering, ‘Cosma,’ and I just freaked out. I lifted up the bed frill things but I couldn’t see anything under because it was so dark, then I used the light on my phone to see under the bed. What I saw was Jack with his face smushed under the bed and I think he said something like ‘don’t let Sheri know I’m here’ or something, but I just freaked out and had a laughing fit. I thought I was going to die because I was laughing so much but it was in my top five funniest things I have ever seen, ever.
I knew that Jack was in on this whole thing and Tom didn’t get with Sav but I don’t think Shez quite knew they were in on it when she came up to me later and said ‘do you think that Jack and Tom will stay friends now that he knows?’ Once Shez said that I lost it again, I laughed but I laughed so hard that a huge bit of snot propelled from my nose and onto this little pocket on my shirt. I assumed that she didn’t see as I casually wiped it off my shirt but I knew that she saw when she started crying of laughter.
I’m not the world’s most learned man, I know this may shock some of you but I really don’t know everything, but I know a fair bit about drinking and hangovers and how it all works... well at least I thought I did. I normally get hangover’s when I go to bed still drunk, because I then wake up all hung-over, I don’t know but you know what I mean, as far as I knew, you had to sleep before you can get a hangover. Somehow, I had a hangover when I was awake, as in I got a hangover without even going to bed. It was so shit, everyone was still all drunk and all happy and shit and then there was me, with my head pounding and with every heart beat it feels like someone was hitting me in the back of the head with something that isn’t really heavy or anything but enough to make me feel like shit.
I couldn’t keep drinking, I knew the best cure for a hangover is to keep drinking but surely that would just postpone the inevitable and I would just get fucked over again when I sober up. So what I ended up doing was, trying to get to sleep, but I couldn’t really sleep because they were all making too much noise so I decided to go outside and sleep on the trampoline. It was the coldest I have been since that time we all jumped into Bretto’s pool at like three in the morning. I couldn’t really move because whenever I moved my head hurt more, so I just stayed there. Sheridan Lee Grigg who I thought was mean because she threatened to put me in her pussy books if I didn’t keep drinking turned out to be the nicest person in the world that night. She came out and gave me this amazing hoodie that was Nathan’s and then I ended up leaving it at Bretto’s so yeah Nathan if you are reading this which you should be, that’s where it is. Then she stayed out there with me to make sure I was okay and then she had a fairly bright idea that I don’t know how I didn’t think of it before but she said that I should sleep inside in Nathan’s bed.
She then took me inside and tucked me in and then stayed with me and we talked and then she spooned me to sleep. Then Andrew came in and he told us a ghost story that I have heard before but he said it in much more detail and it was fucking great, as in scary, but great. We were still spooning at this stage, all three of us and then Shez decided to outdo my disgustingness with the laughing snot thing by farting on Andrew, as she said and I quote ‘I just did a pop on your penis’. She then turned the other way and did a pop on my penis, it was quite disgusting but it made the bed much warmer so it was good.
Then they left me so I could fall asleep but all I could think of was this little girl with no eyes standing outside of Andrew’s bedroom for forty five minutes and I couldn’t sleep, so I got back up to go mingle with everyone and then I realised that my hangover was sort of gone and my head felt a lot better. Then I realised that it actually hadn’t and it was much worse and that was shit. When I got out there I was forced to skull a beer or else I would be put into Shezza’s pussy book, I tried and failed and it made me feel so sick. She didn’t put me in the pussy book I don’t think, and I am really starting to doubt whether there is an actual book or something but I am also thinking that it might just be something that she made up on the spot.
Chris and the rest were supposedly at some Black Eye’s Peas after party and they were going to meet them. I was pretty devastated that I couldn’t go but it isn’t like I was that big of a fan of them so I wasn’t too fussed. I sent what would probably be the best text message that I have ever sent to Quire, the message was.
Did will i am drop the
beat now?
Sent: 5-OCT-09
10:35pm
I was so proud and I was so pumped for a response. Shez was so happy with the message, she couldn’t stop hi fiving me, and I just wanted a response. Quire came to Nathan’s after town and I asked him if he got my message, he said that his phone broke so he didn’t get the message obviously, and it was the most devastating thing that has ever happened... well not really but I was pretty devastated. Then we all watched as Quire, in all his drunkenness willingly asked for his had to be shaved. I don’t know why but... yeah, it was pretty funny.
We then made our way to Brett’s house to watch the Man City game; we said our goodbyes to Nathan and Shez as Chris, Brett, Andrew and I walked to the Brettodome. Andrew was walking much faster than we were, he was houses ahead of us and we didn’t know why, he said that he wanted to go home because he hasn’t slept at his house in four days. It’s not like he has a bed or anything, he says that his room is haunted so he sleeps on his couch so I don’t see why it matters where he sleeps but I guess four days...
We got to the Brettodome and the Man City game had already started and Aston Villa were already one nil up. I just grabbed a blanket and tried to get to sleep on the couch in front of the television. Andrew for some reason decided to stay at Brett’s, not that it surprised me at all but yeah, he thought he could just take my blanket because I was asleep and I went fucking nuts. I chased him down the hallway and beat the shit out of him but he wouldn’t give it back, then Meryl woke up and I felt really, really bad. On the same day that she was telling us how she hates it when people roam around like it’s their own house and shit, I was running around fighting Andrew at six in the morning.
I was so worked up because of the fight that I couldn’t get to sleep so I decided to walk home. I thought that Brett lived fairly close to me, which he kind of does... when you drive. You don’t really notice how fast cars drive until you are walking. It takes about three or four minutes to drive to mine from Brett’s, and it took me forty minutes to walk. I was looking at each passing car hoping that one of them would for some reason know me and stop and give me a lift but it just didn’t happen. I got home at exactly seven in the morning; I hadn’t been asleep since around noon the previous day and I was so pumped to go home to my own bed and sleep, on the best bed in the world, and not have my blanket stolen from anyone. I was still hung-over and I thought that sleeping would... I don’t know, make me not hung-over? To say that it didn’t work would be around the truth, because I woke up still hung-over, but its okay because I am fine now, and that was the longest day of my life, and the longest blog I will ever write, ever.
Word Count: 3,087.
Everything that happened was amazingly funny, and I mean fucking funny. I hadn’t seen Jack all day so I just assumed that he was at home or with Anna-Lisa or something. Tom Wilkin was in Nathan’s bed texting someone and Shez and I walked in. He wouldn’t tell me who it was so I got his phone off him and saw that his most recent call was Sav (Jack’s sister) I think, I don’t really know how to use an iPhone so yeah, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. He then told us that he and Sav had a thing and we could never tell Jack or anyone and that we were the only two people that knew now. I didn’t know whether to ask him what happened or just not believe him because it sounded kind of fishy, but yeah, I guess I had to believe him. Then Jack sent Tom a message saying ‘Fuck You’, and Tom went nuts at us because he thought that we had already told Jack somehow, I don’t know how we would have but he was just all antsy.
Andrew was then outside and I didn’t want to let him in so we just started singing that shit Bodies song by Robbie Williams and pretended we couldn’t hear him, we turned the lights off and I hid next to the bed on the floor while Shez and Tom hid under the covers. Then I felt someone breathing on me from under the bed and whispering, ‘Cosma,’ and I just freaked out. I lifted up the bed frill things but I couldn’t see anything under because it was so dark, then I used the light on my phone to see under the bed. What I saw was Jack with his face smushed under the bed and I think he said something like ‘don’t let Sheri know I’m here’ or something, but I just freaked out and had a laughing fit. I thought I was going to die because I was laughing so much but it was in my top five funniest things I have ever seen, ever.
I knew that Jack was in on this whole thing and Tom didn’t get with Sav but I don’t think Shez quite knew they were in on it when she came up to me later and said ‘do you think that Jack and Tom will stay friends now that he knows?’ Once Shez said that I lost it again, I laughed but I laughed so hard that a huge bit of snot propelled from my nose and onto this little pocket on my shirt. I assumed that she didn’t see as I casually wiped it off my shirt but I knew that she saw when she started crying of laughter.
I’m not the world’s most learned man, I know this may shock some of you but I really don’t know everything, but I know a fair bit about drinking and hangovers and how it all works... well at least I thought I did. I normally get hangover’s when I go to bed still drunk, because I then wake up all hung-over, I don’t know but you know what I mean, as far as I knew, you had to sleep before you can get a hangover. Somehow, I had a hangover when I was awake, as in I got a hangover without even going to bed. It was so shit, everyone was still all drunk and all happy and shit and then there was me, with my head pounding and with every heart beat it feels like someone was hitting me in the back of the head with something that isn’t really heavy or anything but enough to make me feel like shit.
I couldn’t keep drinking, I knew the best cure for a hangover is to keep drinking but surely that would just postpone the inevitable and I would just get fucked over again when I sober up. So what I ended up doing was, trying to get to sleep, but I couldn’t really sleep because they were all making too much noise so I decided to go outside and sleep on the trampoline. It was the coldest I have been since that time we all jumped into Bretto’s pool at like three in the morning. I couldn’t really move because whenever I moved my head hurt more, so I just stayed there. Sheridan Lee Grigg who I thought was mean because she threatened to put me in her pussy books if I didn’t keep drinking turned out to be the nicest person in the world that night. She came out and gave me this amazing hoodie that was Nathan’s and then I ended up leaving it at Bretto’s so yeah Nathan if you are reading this which you should be, that’s where it is. Then she stayed out there with me to make sure I was okay and then she had a fairly bright idea that I don’t know how I didn’t think of it before but she said that I should sleep inside in Nathan’s bed.
She then took me inside and tucked me in and then stayed with me and we talked and then she spooned me to sleep. Then Andrew came in and he told us a ghost story that I have heard before but he said it in much more detail and it was fucking great, as in scary, but great. We were still spooning at this stage, all three of us and then Shez decided to outdo my disgustingness with the laughing snot thing by farting on Andrew, as she said and I quote ‘I just did a pop on your penis’. She then turned the other way and did a pop on my penis, it was quite disgusting but it made the bed much warmer so it was good.
Then they left me so I could fall asleep but all I could think of was this little girl with no eyes standing outside of Andrew’s bedroom for forty five minutes and I couldn’t sleep, so I got back up to go mingle with everyone and then I realised that my hangover was sort of gone and my head felt a lot better. Then I realised that it actually hadn’t and it was much worse and that was shit. When I got out there I was forced to skull a beer or else I would be put into Shezza’s pussy book, I tried and failed and it made me feel so sick. She didn’t put me in the pussy book I don’t think, and I am really starting to doubt whether there is an actual book or something but I am also thinking that it might just be something that she made up on the spot.
Chris and the rest were supposedly at some Black Eye’s Peas after party and they were going to meet them. I was pretty devastated that I couldn’t go but it isn’t like I was that big of a fan of them so I wasn’t too fussed. I sent what would probably be the best text message that I have ever sent to Quire, the message was.
Did will i am drop the
beat now?
Sent: 5-OCT-09
10:35pm
I was so proud and I was so pumped for a response. Shez was so happy with the message, she couldn’t stop hi fiving me, and I just wanted a response. Quire came to Nathan’s after town and I asked him if he got my message, he said that his phone broke so he didn’t get the message obviously, and it was the most devastating thing that has ever happened... well not really but I was pretty devastated. Then we all watched as Quire, in all his drunkenness willingly asked for his had to be shaved. I don’t know why but... yeah, it was pretty funny.
We then made our way to Brett’s house to watch the Man City game; we said our goodbyes to Nathan and Shez as Chris, Brett, Andrew and I walked to the Brettodome. Andrew was walking much faster than we were, he was houses ahead of us and we didn’t know why, he said that he wanted to go home because he hasn’t slept at his house in four days. It’s not like he has a bed or anything, he says that his room is haunted so he sleeps on his couch so I don’t see why it matters where he sleeps but I guess four days...
We got to the Brettodome and the Man City game had already started and Aston Villa were already one nil up. I just grabbed a blanket and tried to get to sleep on the couch in front of the television. Andrew for some reason decided to stay at Brett’s, not that it surprised me at all but yeah, he thought he could just take my blanket because I was asleep and I went fucking nuts. I chased him down the hallway and beat the shit out of him but he wouldn’t give it back, then Meryl woke up and I felt really, really bad. On the same day that she was telling us how she hates it when people roam around like it’s their own house and shit, I was running around fighting Andrew at six in the morning.
I was so worked up because of the fight that I couldn’t get to sleep so I decided to walk home. I thought that Brett lived fairly close to me, which he kind of does... when you drive. You don’t really notice how fast cars drive until you are walking. It takes about three or four minutes to drive to mine from Brett’s, and it took me forty minutes to walk. I was looking at each passing car hoping that one of them would for some reason know me and stop and give me a lift but it just didn’t happen. I got home at exactly seven in the morning; I hadn’t been asleep since around noon the previous day and I was so pumped to go home to my own bed and sleep, on the best bed in the world, and not have my blanket stolen from anyone. I was still hung-over and I thought that sleeping would... I don’t know, make me not hung-over? To say that it didn’t work would be around the truth, because I woke up still hung-over, but its okay because I am fine now, and that was the longest day of my life, and the longest blog I will ever write, ever.
Word Count: 3,087.
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