Just in case you forgot, I quit drinking forever because of that Friday night where I was in the toga and all that. My plan was to never drink again, I mean I nearly killed myself in my sleep, and I also nearly killed that nice guy from Breda’s lacrosse team. Well let’s just say that last night when I was at Carmen’s eighteenth, I was fucking drunk and it was great. Alcohol, I am so sorry we had that disagreement, I love you and I want you back in my circle of friends, you got along well with all my other friends last night, and by that I mean you got along with dancing quite nicely and you morphed into the best person in the world; party.
I remember dancing last night and people were coming up to me and saying things like ‘I thought you weren’t going to drink ever again?’ and I was just saying ‘its okay, I’m not drunk I’ll remember everything in the morning!’ That was one of the few things that I remember. A lot of the time I wake up in the mornings with bruises or cuts on my body that I can’t explain, but last night gave me the most amazingly random bruises you could imagine, and I don’t even know where to get started, and I wasn’t even that drunk. I have these bruises all over my left arm up to about my shoulder, my toes feel like someone stepped on them with clown shoes and the one thing that I have no explanation for and I don’t even know if I want to say it, but I will, but I have a little cut on my penis that I cannot even remotely remember how it would have happened no matter how hard I try to think back.
I remember being in hundreds of photos, but I am really trying to think if that actually happened because most of the photos I have seen so far are of people that are definitely not me. I have seen two photos of me, one of them is of me dancing and it looks like I farted whilst doing the chicken dance, and the other one is just of me, looking quite drunk. Anyone who has been drunk before will understand the following, so Caitlin you may need to pay close attention to this. There is that perfect level of drunkenness where all you want to do is party, you can’t stop dancing and everything is just amazing, I don’t know about you but I certainly get to that level and so do quite a lot of people as far as I have heard. If you don’t have enough alcohol, you don’t get to that perfect level and you feel kind of fake when you tell people how drunk you are, or if you have too much alcohol you could potentially pull a me at Josh Breda’s and pass out on the dance floor or nearly kill a guy or...yeah. Last night, alcohol not only got me to that perfect level but it also kept me there for the whole night, all I drank was a beer, a four pack of Pulse, a shot of tequila and tried a few other drinks that people just said I should try or I asked to try or whatever, it was great.
I also remember Hannah coming up to me quite angrily saying that if she isn’t in today’s blog about last night she would be even angrier than she was, and she looked angry. Then we danced for a bit and she said that she wanted a proper mention so here it is Hannah, your own paragraph, this isn’t as much as you got in the Tom Wilkin memoirs and it is nowhere near as funny but hey, you got your mention that you didn’t deserve but you scared me into it.
Alcohol, you have fucked me over in the past but I still love you and I am glad to have you back in my circle of friends. Every party I go to seems to have something wrong with it, like it is a great night and everything goes well but then something happens that makes me think well maybe that wasn’t the best night of my life. Last night was amazing, thank you Carmen, you held one of the best parties that I have ever been to and last night was probably the best night I have had since the cruise and nothing went wrong... oh, besides that little cut on my penis.
I remember dancing last night and people were coming up to me and saying things like ‘I thought you weren’t going to drink ever again?’ and I was just saying ‘its okay, I’m not drunk I’ll remember everything in the morning!’ That was one of the few things that I remember. A lot of the time I wake up in the mornings with bruises or cuts on my body that I can’t explain, but last night gave me the most amazingly random bruises you could imagine, and I don’t even know where to get started, and I wasn’t even that drunk. I have these bruises all over my left arm up to about my shoulder, my toes feel like someone stepped on them with clown shoes and the one thing that I have no explanation for and I don’t even know if I want to say it, but I will, but I have a little cut on my penis that I cannot even remotely remember how it would have happened no matter how hard I try to think back.
I remember being in hundreds of photos, but I am really trying to think if that actually happened because most of the photos I have seen so far are of people that are definitely not me. I have seen two photos of me, one of them is of me dancing and it looks like I farted whilst doing the chicken dance, and the other one is just of me, looking quite drunk. Anyone who has been drunk before will understand the following, so Caitlin you may need to pay close attention to this. There is that perfect level of drunkenness where all you want to do is party, you can’t stop dancing and everything is just amazing, I don’t know about you but I certainly get to that level and so do quite a lot of people as far as I have heard. If you don’t have enough alcohol, you don’t get to that perfect level and you feel kind of fake when you tell people how drunk you are, or if you have too much alcohol you could potentially pull a me at Josh Breda’s and pass out on the dance floor or nearly kill a guy or...yeah. Last night, alcohol not only got me to that perfect level but it also kept me there for the whole night, all I drank was a beer, a four pack of Pulse, a shot of tequila and tried a few other drinks that people just said I should try or I asked to try or whatever, it was great.
I also remember Hannah coming up to me quite angrily saying that if she isn’t in today’s blog about last night she would be even angrier than she was, and she looked angry. Then we danced for a bit and she said that she wanted a proper mention so here it is Hannah, your own paragraph, this isn’t as much as you got in the Tom Wilkin memoirs and it is nowhere near as funny but hey, you got your mention that you didn’t deserve but you scared me into it.
Alcohol, you have fucked me over in the past but I still love you and I am glad to have you back in my circle of friends. Every party I go to seems to have something wrong with it, like it is a great night and everything goes well but then something happens that makes me think well maybe that wasn’t the best night of my life. Last night was amazing, thank you Carmen, you held one of the best parties that I have ever been to and last night was probably the best night I have had since the cruise and nothing went wrong... oh, besides that little cut on my penis.
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