The provider of chicken.

If you're a human, then chances are you like eating chicken. Unless you are a vegetarian or vegan of course, but even then I’m sure that you really like chicken you just don’t admit it. You probably eat chicken but don’t tell anyone, then floss the shit out of your teeth to cover up the fact that you had chicken because you would disappoint all the other vegans, even though they also eat chicken. Instead of hiding that you eat it, why don’t you all just admit to each other that you eat chicken and make it the exception of meats that you can eat, because chicken is bloody awesome. Then again, steak is awesome too, and so is lamb and... Actually, I think that all kinds of meat are awesome, there are probably a few bad kinds, well not bad but I wouldn’t feel good if I knew I was eating it, like dog or human or something.

I guess that all I am trying to say in that ridiculous paragraph that got side tracked is that chicken is great, there isn’t much in this world that I love more than I love chicken, but of course something that I love more than chicken, is the provider of chicken, and a lot of the time, that provider is Safeer Ahmad. Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘That was a pretty long sentence and you had quite a lot of comma’s in there, surely you could put a full stop about half way through and make it two sentences?’ Well if you are thinking that, then that was a bloody good guess on my behalf, and don’t worry about grammar, we are talking about chicken here.

When Saf started working at KFC sometime this year or last year, I forget, I didn’t really comprehend the amount of chicken that I, a friend of Saf would get. When I was a kid, I didn’t get much KFC. It was always so much more expensive that McDonalds and Hungry Jacks so whenever we got take away it would never be KFC, but when it was it was like some sort of miracle descended down from the heavens as I indulged in the amazingly unhealthy chicken that as I said, even vegans love. I believe that the first time I got chicken from Saf was sometime this year; we were waiting in the car for about an hour before I got a text that said ‘I have hit the motherload! Be patient!’ around about half an hour later, we see Saf walk out of KFC with five boxes full to the top of different kinds of chicken. It was one of the best things that I have ever seen.

Saf has now brought what was once considered a miracle into my weekly diet, and is that a bad thing? Well it probably is, but who cares, free chicken is the best thing in the world, you don’t understand until it happens, but I think that even though it happens more often now that it did when I was a kid, when I get that phone call saying that he has chicken, it is just such a miracle that I feel like shouting out to the heavens, or at least over the phone to tell him to come to my house.