Facebook seems to have this unbelievable power over people. If it is in someone’s status update then people think it must be true, someone is only in a relationship when Facebook says they are, if someone isn’t tagged in any photos then chances are they don’t exist. Some of my good friends know my Facebook password, but they never log in to do anything, that would just be dog. Leaving your Facebook on though, that’s a whole other story. If you leave your Facebook logged in and unattended to for a second around people like Chrisman (the guy who was a dick and then he changed and now he isn’t a dick but he is still kind of a dick when he wants to be) and Saf (just some Arab friend of mine) your Facebook will get fucked up!
I left my bedroom to get beverages for my two guests, Chris and Saf because I am just such a nice guy. I return to see my Facebook status that reads, ‘i love massive cock in my mouth’. The quite obviously false status not only get’s two people to like it, but a further four comments, but then Saf’s car got egged so I guess Karma got him back.
This is far from the worst case though, just the most recent. Last weekend we had pre drinks at mine and Chris left the computer logged into his Facebook, he left it logged in and the computer on and when I got back from the party at like, four in the morning my computer was still on, and he was still logged in. Without thinking, I make his Facebook status ‘feels like shit. man, i shouldn’t have got with that guy’. This was a much more believable status and it got more attention, including comments from chicks that he added because he thought they were hot that read, ‘Are you gay?’
When leaving my Facebook logged in for longer, I have had my relationship status changed to ‘In an open relationship with (the first person they saw on my friends list that would be funny if I was in an open relationship with)’ And countless status updates saying random shit and messages sent to people that I had to later explain wasn’t me.
You may think that we are dicks for doing this, but as I like to think of it, it’s like someone taking a huge shit in a toilet and then not flushing it. You have to flush it for them when you go in and chances are you are going to be fucking disgusted by this. So when I go on my laptop and it says that I am logged into the Facebook of whoever was just on it, I have to log out for them, which is disgusting. So while you’re there, why don’t you pick up their shit and smear it in their face, or more realistically, change their Facebook status for them. The only rule is that you can’t delete your status, no matter what it says, it has to stay there because you are a the kind of disgusting person who shits in a toilet and leaves it there, and you deserve to have a gross Facebook status.
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