I have been thinking over the last four days what the opening sentence was going to be for this. I mean so much has happened since schoolies and I just don’t know where to begin, I guess I’ll just do this one in order of the things that happened, so that means I am going to have to take you right back to Thursday morning... I don’t know how well my memory will serve me but I’ll try my hardest to get everything in...
So I woke up on Thursday morning to the sound of my phone ringing, I told Brett to ring me when he gets up so I can get up, ready and out of the house as soon as possible. I was so happy when I checked the time and it was eight in the morning, I mean after seeing that I knew that we would be in Goolwa sometime before lunch and the good times would just roll on from there. I got in the shower and as expected, I showered. I then got dressed; made sure all of my clothes were in the esky and started ringing people. I gave Brett a ring back to see how his preparation was going and to see if he was going to come to pick me and the rest of us up so we could head off. He didn’t pick up, and neither did anyone else that I called. At this stage I checked my credit to see if I even had enough to be ringing people, and I had twenty eight dollars, which is probably the most credit I have ever had, ever... at least in a long time, so not ever.
To put a long story slightly less long but still a little bit longer than being classified as short, I went to Chris’s house, went for a swim with assorted people that were attending schoolies until around two or three in the afternoon and then we left for Goolwa. We made it to Goolwa at whatever time it was that we got there and if you are thinking to yourself ‘Cosma, you aren’t making this part of the story shorter to make the blog shorter in total, you are just doing this because you don’t remember what actually happened?’ and you would be spot on, because I don’t remember much of getting there, I just remember what happened there, which is weird because I was drunk there and sober on the way, but anyway, I am just going to move on from this awkward paragraph and skip to Thursday, because that is when things that are interesting started to happen.
We arrived at Jack’s amazing Goolwa house which was surprisingly enough located in Goolwa, and I started to unpack my esky full of clothes. I put all the clothes in the storage device or ‘cupboard’ neatly and then made my way upstairs to do some heavy drinking. Staying at Goolwa means that we were, as Andrew put it, ‘the furthest away place from Victor that is still close,’ which meant that we didn’t get to see many people during the day besides other people that were staying at Goolwa. We ended up inviting the brownie girls over for drinks on Thursday night and despite the odd black outs that were less odd and more frequent, the night was great. There were thunderstorms all night and I just had that feeling that there was going to be a black out or power failure or whatever you want to call it that night. The lightning was amazing to look at, especially after we had a few to drink. We were just looking out over the amazing view we had from the balcony waiting for lightning to... happen, and when it did it just blew our minds... especially when the lightning lit up the entirety of the sky.
After the first black out, we came inside because it started to rain quite heavily, this is when we were using our phones as sources of light because none of us were smart enough to bring a torch or anything... it was then when we realised that instead of using our phones as sources of light, we could use them as sources of entertainment, and this was when the drunk texting and drunk calling started. It started bad and ended bad because most people either didn’t reply to the texts, didn’t pick up their phones or just were not fun people to talk to. Luckily enough the drunken texting and calling carried out throughout the whole of the trip, draining my amazingly huge amount of credit completely. The brownie girls arrived later that night and we decided to go to the beach instead of staying in our phone lit house. On the way we caught up with all these schoolies from Immanuel staying around the corner from us. They seemed much more prepared for a power failure than we did, as in party prepared, they had a portable battery operated strobe light and a portable iPod speaker... they came down to the beach with us but this is where things just got confusing. I know a person called Kahli, but she is the only one, as in, as far as I’m concerned there is only one Kahli in the world. My views on life were blown wide open when one of the Immanuel people’s name was Kahli... they looked similar as well, as in... Well I was drunk but they looked similar at the time. The confusion soon ended when the Immanuel Kahli said her name started with a C, not a K, so we had a Kahli and Cali/Cahli or however it is spelt... I called her ‘C Ali’, like you say it ‘see-Ali’ but as far as her number in my phone goes, her name is spelt ‘Cee Alii’...
After we left the beach with two Kahli’s, Cee Alii left us which meant that life went back to the way it was, just with the single Kahli and everything just seemed simpler. We made our way back to the house, and the power was back on. The music was cranked and we started partying until late. Late reached and then the brownie girls left and one by one we started going to bed, besides Nathan who was already passed out. The power went back out so I used my shitty phone light to make my way downstairs and into my bedroom where I laid there, sobering up and falling asleep. I didn’t really fall asleep though, it was more of an attempt of sleep as I could hear Brett, Andrew and Jack still upstairs talking. The power came back on and the music started and it suddenly became even harder to get back to sleep. I am not one to really just... get naked around people. I don’t know why, I mean Brett and them are, but I just don’t... but let’s just say that this trip really let my inner... wait, I’ll say outer... I’ll just say that I was naked a lot. I was awoken just after I thought that I might be able to fall asleep by Brett, Andrew and Jack serenading me to some love song, oh and they were all naked. They were crawling all over me with their genitals rubbing up against me until I woke up, which I did. I got up out of bed, put some clothes on and walked out of my room to see Nathan in the next room putting up with the same wake up call, but it just wasn’t working on him.
The three of them gave up on the passed out Nathan and came upstairs where they said that they wanted to go on a nudie run, they asked if I wanted to go and I said that I didn’t know, I was then bombarded with abuse for never getting naked around them so I took off my shirt and pants and underpants and we then made our way out of the house. As we were making our way down to the beach we passed by Cee Alii’s house, and in a mixture of a fortunate and an unfortunate event, they were all still out the front as we walked past naked. I think Cee Alii was happy though, I mean it isn’t often you meet guys and then a few hours later you get to see them all naked. Unfortunately though, she didn’t want to come down to the beach with us, so she stayed at her house with the rest of the Immanuel people as we made our way to the beach. We got further down the road and we heard a car coming, we all jump in the bushes which was a terribly bad idea because I landed on a rock I think and it really hurt, it hurt more because I was naked and it grazed the fuck out of my thigh, the graze comes right up and stops about three centimetres from my balls, so I guess I was lucky with that one.
After we got out of the bushes we continued walking down to the beach, but we thought that maybe that car that we tried our hardest to avoid was going to either come back or stay at the beach. I thought this because, well there isn’t any other options, that road that he took goes straight to this car park thing in front of the beach and the only way out of the car park was to go back the other way on that same road that we were naked on. As we got closer to the car park I saw that the car was parked right in front of the only gate that goes from the outside world to the beachfront, as we walked past it I think that someone said ‘we should just walk casually so they don’t even notice that we are naked’ or something like that, but before they could even finish saying what they were saying Jack was already waving at the car full of clothed people.
We made it to the beach and ran straight into the water, the waves hit my bare genitals and the graze that were close to it and it stung, as in it stung the graze but it just froze my balls and penis region. We got around about waist to nipple deep before we ran back, and as we ran back we passed some more clothes people walking along the beach. We walked back past the car, you know, the one with all those clothed people in it, and we started walking back. We heard the car start up and start driving, and we knew that hiding in the bushes wouldn’t do much, I mean we knew now that they weren’t cops or anything and they had already seen our beautiful naked bodies so we just kept walking up the road as they drove past, beeping rapidly. Unfortunately enough the rapid beeping of the car passing by caught the unwanted attention of two unfriendly looking guys wearing tank tops and covered in assorted unfriendly looking tattoos. Luckily, like bears, they must have been more scared of us than we were of them because they walked away faster than we were walking and got away...
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