The Chinatown Wars.

I remember not too long ago, as in it would have been earlier this year sometime, I was looking forward to a game called Fallout 3. It is a violent videogame that puts you in this open world and you are just looking for your father who you lost, I mean it is much more complicated than that but really, that is an extremely minimal description of Fallout in like half a sentence, this sentence actually. The game was banned and then edited around the world because you can use drugs, and the drugs have realistic outcomes in the game. You can get addicted, you slowly get weaker or stronger as you use them and then the benefits they give you drain and yeah... in the edited version, the only change is that the drugs have been renamed so Morphine is now called Med-X... same, but different.

I had an EB Games voucher because I sold all my Xbox games that I don’t want to play ever again, so all I have now is Fallout 3, Bioshock and Halo 3... Oh and FIFA 10, but that’s my brothers. I spent some of the EB Games voucher on buying Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars for Nintendo DS, mainly because I wanted something new to play and my Xbox is broken. When you think about it, Nintendo DS would be a console that is mainly played by kids, it is just like the next GameBoy, and it’s not like you saw many adults around playing games on GameBoy. Chinatown Wars has made me realise two main things, the first being that Kenny must be a common Asian name or something because my Asian friend is Kenny, and the guy you work for in the game is called Kenny. The second thing that I realised is that there is money to be made, and that money is in drug dealing.

This game has to be the worst influence on children in the world, I mean it is rated MA, but some kids would be able to get their parents to buy it for them, I mean it can’t be that hard for some kid to take it off the shelf, take it to their mum, tell them that they want it for Christmas and then the parent barely take a glance at it before buying it for them. This game couldn’t make drug dealing seem any easier, or any more fun. All you have to do is check your emails, you will get an email saying something like ‘Hi, Some college punks are willing to pay big time for some heroin over here in Rotterdam Hill. Their money’s good until Saturday, so where you at?’ and then you just rush yourself over to a dealer that deals heroin and then drive over to the guy by Saturday and make yourself an absolute shit load. I currently have seventeen thousand dollars on hand, and fourteen bags if Acid that I bought for one hundred and twenty one dollars a bag and the street value for it is one hundred and ninety.

This game has taught me more about drugs than anyone else ever could have, and that is probably not a good thing. I mean, especially seeing as though the things that the game has taught me are like, how to deal drugs, how much different drugs are worth and yeah. The game does make some mistakes though, I mean you can dig through bins and find things, and I have searched three bins in total so far. The first time I searched a bin I found a burger, which my guy munged down and gained health from, and the other two times he found condoms, which by the picture looked used, so I just hope he tossed them back in but yeah, I don’t know, it wasn’t really explained.

I don’t really have a job, and by that I mean; I do not have a job. I also don’t have any money, and this game has made me think, I should just become a drug dealer for like a week, make like ten thousand dollars and then never do it again. Ten thousand dollars would definitely tie me over until I get an actual job, and if it doesn’t, there’s always the doll... or I could just go back to dealing...